The LoLffice

"It is amazing what you can do after two glasses of wine."

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 10:33:12 -0500

“It is amazing what you can do after two glasses of wine.”

"It’s amazing when that free money shuts off…so does the prospect of business"

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 13:46:49 -0500

“It’s amazing when that free money shuts off…so does the prospect of business”

Quick! Out the window!

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:38:11 -0500

*From an office 22 floors up*
Don: You're still here?
D: I couldn't get the window open.
Don: Don't do that. It's much too cold. Think I want to work in a cold office?

"We are not looking at a full application with like ‘source code’."

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:18:30 -0500

“We are not looking at a full application with like ‘source code’.”

- Edward Vazquez, VP Transformation Services at MomentumSI

Translations II

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0500

SantaMan: Hi [Me]

Me: Hi SantaMan.

SantaMan: We got mail from [ProjectSponser], issues in CTRM incomming data

SantaMan: ?

SantaMan: what is the status

Me: Is that so, is this the same issue that plagued PCCM to CTRM? < ?

SantaMan: we resolved the issue right

Me: That is resolved.

Me: I am unaware of any other issue. Could you forward me that email from [ProjectSponser]?

SantaMan: Do we have any issue incomming data from CTRM

Me: Well I am looking at the CTRM_SOA_PCCM_INT table and I don't see any issues.

SantaMan: hey this is [LilPete].. wit [SantaMan] . ..any idea where this issue [ProjectSponser] has arose from

Me: Well, I haven't seen any emails about this issue. I don't even know what the issue is, until just now. If I could get a forward of that email that would be great.

SantaMan: Just send the mail

From: [ProjectSponser]
Sent: Monday, November 17, 2008 12:41 PM
To: [LilPete]; [My Boss]
Subject: Question from you

Hi,

Getting information from outside the project that there are problems with data coming into customer from CTRM (the integration piece.) It looks the SOA Service is not working. People are saying the data is all garbled?

Anyone have an update?

Me: Well, I am looking at the CTRM_SOA_PCCM_INT table and the only errors I see is that two test messages not ment for this use case some how went through the system.

Me: Other than that everything looks fine.

Me: Is there more specific information about how the data is garbled? Perhaps I am just missing something.

SantaMan: Ok

SantaMan: [LilPete] has sent the mail reply for specific issue,

Me: Thanks, as soon as I know more I will look deeper

SantaMan: Sure

Translations I

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 11:57:10 -0500
Resource1: Hi [Me]

Resource1: Good Afternoon

Me: Good Afternoon.

Resource1: Do we have the Test server ready for install

Resource1: for tomorrow

Resource1: ?

Me: The change document will be going out this afternoon, our meeting on Wed will have to be rescheduled to a different date, maybe monday. The HP team wanted to upgrade their hardware.

Resource1: oh ok

Me: In fact the first box is also down because the hardware is being upgraded.

Resource1: upgrade the hardware?

Me: Yeah, I could look up the changes but the hardware that the VMs are on are moving to faster processors with more memory.

Resource1: are there any additional recommendations for this install from Oracle?

Me: Not at that I am aware of. The change document should give an overview of the changes made in order for the installs to complete.

Resource1: oh ok.. just curious why now they decided to upgrade the hardware

Me: Well, they were rebuilding the second box and since we aren't doing any code migration yet it won't impact our schedule.

Resource1: oh ok, so we mostly will do Test on Monday and then Stage?

Me: Actually Stage and product will all be completed by this friday. But yes Test on Monday.

Resource1: okay.. just make sure to let me know the specifics for the Stage and Production environments

Me: You want the hardware specs?

Resource1: I dont think I have info about Stage/Production environments

Me: <[Mgr1] doesn't have this information I just don't see why he needs it at the moment> Let me get in touch with [Mgr1], whom I believe already has this information stored somewhere, and then I can forward it to you in an email.

Resource1: ok

Resource1: I would like to set some time up for tomorrow for may be about 30 minutes for a quick calll, so we can discuss some of this

Me: Sure not a problem.

Me: Send me a meeting invite and we can go through this.

Resource1: sure, I am basically going to have [Resource1's Mgr] also join the call

Resource1: sure

Me: Sounds good.

Resource1: The other thing is can you provide the console access to the SOA suite

Resource1: in DEV/Test

Resource1: ?

Me: Why do you need access to the SOA suite console?

Resource1: just to get an Idea about about the SOA side of configurations at a console level

Resource1: it neednt be the same account that you guys use

Me: Let me check on that and get back to you.

Resource1: it will be great if you can create two different accounts for me and [Resource1's Mgr] just in DEV/Test

Me: I will look into it, but I don't have the authority to just grant accounts.

Resource1: great

Resource1: Thanks [Me]

Me: No problem

"Yes, we do need to wait till this in production to test it."

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:41:36 -0400
“Yes, we do need to wait till this in production to test it.”

Let me get back to you

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:10:31 -0400
Supervisor: "I need four BAM servers."
Me: "Why? They don't cluster."
Supervisor: "Err, well I don't really know why I need 4."
Me: "...could you find out?"
Supervisor: "Yeah let me get back to you."

Just Chasing a Bum

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 11:02:26 -0400
CEO: Chris, i just shit my pants.
Chris: Oh?
CEO: I saw you run past and i thought something was wrong with the system.
Chris: Oh, no we were just chasing a bum.
CEO: Oh, good.

There aren't any gloves thick enough.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:51:55 -0400
*As I walk to the copier to copy my expenses*
Mgr1: What a nice guy. Do you think you could rub some of that off on [Mgr2].
Me: No thanks, I don't touch poo.

"1) dc_sql_scripts: This lovely script is a Taurus. Likes moonlite walks on the beaches. Enjoys..."

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:08:00 -0400
“1) dc_sql_scripts: This lovely script is a Taurus. Likes moonlite walks on the beaches. Enjoys reading, movies, and discussions about pigmy puffs. More relevant is this script will expire funds.
2) Midnight toggling: Outside of the PPS team, I don’t think anyone will care about this particular piece. Ok, I promise to care. I will hug it, pet it, and name it George.”

- In an email listing nightly scripts

Scotchy Scotch Scotch

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:50:57 -0400
C: Hey, P, how's the foot?
P: Painful.
C: That's why God made scotch.

Physical Clouds

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:36:00 -0400
Me: Yeah you said these were physical boxes but in your email to me it says Linux VM.
Mgr: ...
Me: I am pretty sure these are virtual machines, is that what you wanted?
Mgr: What our test and dev are on virtual machines? No those are physical boxes.
Me: Uhhh, It says Linux VM right there, why would it say VM if it wasn't a VM?
Mgr: No these are part of the externally hosted linux cloud.
Me: The linux cloud is a cluster of VMs...that is what a cloud is.
Mgr: Wait, so the cloud doesn't have physical boxes?
Me: No, there are physical boxes but they host VMs.
Mgr: So VM are real boxes?
Me: ...No, but they exist on real boxes.
Mgr: Alright, so they are virtual machines.
Me: ...

"But they [phones] are not the right model, and so they all barfed."

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 12:12:40 -0400
“But they [phones] are not the right model, and so they all barfed.”

- In discussion as to why data wasn’t working as expected.

What you really want.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:58:56 -0400
Supervisor: "We need to cluster AIA."
Me: "AIA is a package like java.lang, it can't be clustered."
Supervisor: "No the work statement says we need to cluster AIA and the database"
Me: "Clustering the database wouldn't help us because what you really want is failover right?"
Supervisor: "I think."
Me: "...could you find out?"

Getting the issue resolved.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 11:57:00 -0400
MGR TYPE: That issue is assigned to you, Chuck.
Chuck: Well, that's good since I'm not a developer
MGR TYPE: I can reassign that to Chris [a dev].
Chuck: I think that would be more conducive to getting this resolved.