The LoLffice

Sep
26th

Fri

1) dc_sql_scripts: This lovely script is a Taurus. Likes moonlite walks on the beaches. Enjoys reading, movies, and discussions about pigmy puffs. More relevant is this script will expire funds.
2) Midnight toggling: Outside of the PPS team, I don’t think anyone will care about this particular piece. Ok, I promise to care. I will hug it, pet it, and name it George.

— In an email listing nightly scripts

Scotchy Scotch Scotch

C: Hey, P, how's the foot?
P: Painful.
C: That's why God made scotch.

Physical Clouds

Me: Yeah you said these were physical boxes but in your email to me it says Linux VM.
Mgr: ...
Me: I am pretty sure these are virtual machines, is that what you wanted?
Mgr: What our test and dev are on virtual machines? No those are physical boxes.
Me: Uhhh, It says Linux VM right there, why would it say VM if it wasn't a VM?
Mgr: No these are part of the externally hosted linux cloud.
Me: The linux cloud is a cluster of VMs...that is what a cloud is.
Mgr: Wait, so the cloud doesn't have physical boxes?
Me: No, there are physical boxes but they host VMs.
Mgr: So VM are real boxes?
Me: ...No, but they exist on real boxes.
Mgr: Alright, so they are virtual machines.
Me: ...

But they [phones] are not the right model, and so they all barfed.

— In discussion as to why data wasn’t working as expected.

What you really want.

Supervisor: "We need to cluster AIA."
Me: "AIA is a package like java.lang, it can't be clustered."
Supervisor: "No the work statement says we need to cluster AIA and the database"
Me: "Clustering the database wouldn't help us because what you really want is failover right?"
Supervisor: "I think."
Me: "...could you find out?"

Getting the issue resolved.

MGR TYPE: That issue is assigned to you, Chuck.
Chuck: Well, that's good since I'm not a developer
MGR TYPE: I can reassign that to Chris [a dev].
Chuck: I think that would be more conducive to getting this resolved.