September 2008
9 posts
Let me get back to you
Supervisor: "I need four BAM servers."
Me: "Why? They don't cluster."
Supervisor: "Err, well I don't really know why I need 4."
Me: "...could you find out?"
Supervisor: "Yeah let me get back to you."
Just Chasing a Bum
CEO: Chris, i just shit my pants.
Chris: Oh?
CEO: I saw you run past and i thought something was wrong with the system.
Chris: Oh, no we were just chasing a bum.
CEO: Oh, good.
There aren't any gloves thick enough.
*As I walk to the copier to copy my expenses*
Mgr1: What a nice guy. Do you think you could rub some of that off on [Mgr2].
Me: No thanks, I don't touch poo.
“1) dc_sql_scripts: This lovely script is a Taurus. Likes moonlite walks on the...”
– In an email listing nightly scripts
Scotchy Scotch Scotch
C: Hey, P, how's the foot?
P: Painful.
C: That's why God made scotch.
Physical Clouds
Me: Yeah you said these were physical boxes but in your email to me it says Linux VM.
Mgr: ...
Me: I am pretty sure these are virtual machines, is that what you wanted?
Mgr: What our test and dev are on virtual machines? No those are physical boxes.
Me: Uhhh, It says Linux VM right there, why would it say VM if it wasn't a VM?
Mgr: No these are part of the externally hosted linux cloud.
Me: The linux cloud is a cluster of VMs...that is what a cloud is.
Mgr: Wait, so the cloud doesn't have physical boxes?
Me: No, there are physical boxes but they host VMs.
Mgr: So VM are real boxes?
Me: ...No, but they exist on real boxes.
Mgr: Alright, so they are virtual machines.
Me: ...
“But they [phones] are not the right model, and so they all barfed.”
– In discussion as to why data wasn’t working as expected.
What you really want.
Supervisor: "We need to cluster AIA."
Me: "AIA is a package like java.lang, it can't be clustered."
Supervisor: "No the work statement says we need to cluster AIA and the database"
Me: "Clustering the database wouldn't help us because what you really want is failover right?"
Supervisor: "I think."
Me: "...could you find out?"
Getting the issue resolved.
MGR TYPE: That issue is assigned to you, Chuck.
Chuck: Well, that's good since I'm not a developer
MGR TYPE: I can reassign that to Chris [a dev].
Chuck: I think that would be more conducive to getting this resolved.